Breakfast at Jalisco's

I sat and sipped my morning fix, cáfe con leché... waiting for the Senorita's to bring my taco's.

He slowly approached the register with a crumpled ticket, pale green with a smudge of grease. His eyes tired with gray edging the brown color ... he spoke even slower than he walked but his gentleness pierced the morning fog. She lit up to hear him tell her how he had two teeth pulled and how he has not been able to eat till today. She, young enough to be his great grand daughter, with hair combed back tight, darker than an oil slick, rich and smooth, pulled back in a pony.

He knew her by name and she smiled at him with a gentleness and respect that filled the room...  that exchange of energy between them spilled over me, (exceeding the cup of coffee jolt) -- an accidental Grace, unexpected and in the least likely of places. Gracias a Dios.

That we may hear

"We are members of the human race." -Thomas Merton

Our job is to love people, one person at a time, and to cultivate enough interior silence right where we are so that our presence becomes a respite from the ever-increasing din, and for those few who manage to “hear” our silence, we can function as living icons of the mystery, inviting them — and everyone — into a restful place where anything might be possible.

So what does this have to do with a a daily prayer practice, a commitment to reciting the Psalms or lectio divina or centering prayer or any other kind of formal practice? I think the only real answer here is “it depends.” Each individual, or family, or small community, will have to work out its own way of daily nurturing intimacy with God and the cultivation of contemplative silence. Back to Merton: “I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere.” There is no program, no method, no required liturgy. We are simply called into the presence of God, in silence and solitude, in the midst of the city. How do we respond to this call? One breath at a time. -- Carl McColman

So, what happens when we fail miserably to love other- unconditionally? What of that? When our inner pain and broken selves keep us from loving who and what we are? What then??

Carl says it best... "There is no program, no method... We are simply called into the presence of God, in silence and solitude... One breath at a time."

Each breath a gift... Spirit teach us to see God everywhere.

Delizza

NEVER AGAIN

salt falls
on ink blue ocean
like bullets
in slow motion
deafening sound
Soul can not drown-
machine gun
angry stacatto
death of a love song.

RAMPARTS

There you are
Still telling me what to do.
So here i am
Not waiting for you...


There is no invisible string
Tied too thin-
Only the Wind
Blowing where She wants to sing.

Like Swayze said
I'm a young- old -Man...

Still -Waking up is the plan
I never do the best i can.

Thank you for this exercise-
Learning is always a surprise...

Letting go into the fall
These walls,
Not too tall at all.

Wounded Healers

She keeps looking at me

For something that's wrong...

And I promise her that,

It will not take long.

I don't think we were placed here

For perfection,

But to Love and Forgive ...

For our own Redemption...

Wounded Healers...

Will tell you no lies.

AA Texas Convention 2011

Has it been a year since I last blogged? Time flows like a rushing river... splashing over and over the winding path... its time to enjoy the ride! :)

There were 1,400 sober men and women at this years convention... and the gist of it all- reminds me what all of us together can do, that alone we could not. There were a couple of speakers that talked about transformation that takes place in one who pursues the Spiritual Path... but what of those who do not make it? What of those who die or remain in an irritable and painful state while attempting to do this Spiritual Practice.... are they "losers" for not having had the transformation? NO!! Not at all.... Some people who have heart disease recover, ... others do not. Some people with diabetes can contain the disease.... other's die from it. It is a disease, period. End of story.

At one of the breaks in between speakers, a woman waves at me frantically~ "Hello, remember me?" Her beauty was striking and I thought, ... surely, I would have remembered this woman if we had met... "Um, maybe we met at a meeting here or in San Marcos?" I was grasping, trying to connect the dots... "No, she said... and I could see the disappoint me in her eyes...

The next day, she grabbed me and pulled me to the side, " You used to work at the Women's Shelter" and you shared your story of Recovery... you have greatly impacted my life and I Just wanted to tell you thank you!" I was washed away in that River, this time of gratitude for our paths having crossed... for the chance to throw a Life Jacket, Hope. So that she too can have the chance and miracle of a life of happiness, joy and freedom!!!!! Grace permeates all... whether we grab a hold of the Hope, or die from the not being able to latch on.. . . We are just passing thru this life after all... and the Old man river.... Fr. Time, never lets us forget.

Gratitude

Where does the time go ?? I turned the page this new year by moving into San Antonio and it has been a fast read... I'm finding myself wanting to slow down and enjoy this place. . .

It has occurred to me that I have been hurried about the "business" of taking care of others and have hardly noticed that the majority of the summer has gone by. This quiet miracle, that has not demanded pomp or blinding lights has not gone unnoticed... it has secretly been slipped under the Tree. The heat has lost its fierce punch , much as the cold winter morn bares no bite in the midst of all the presents!!

Gratitude... it changes EVERYTHING. :-)